The beat goes on...

Did you ever find a new path and have it feel so right that you start tap dancing in the kitchen?

I've been struggling with my career path for over 20 years. In my 20s, I was so convinced that I would be a Broadway star that I quit school, left my husband, sold my car and moved to New York City. I will never regret the move, but it (obviously) didn't have the outcome I expected.

I've never finished school, which has been a bugaboo for me for years. I've been to graduation ceremonies for my sister's kids and I always felt bummed out afterwards. I already struggle with my feelings of being a failure and that exacerbates it. Not that I'm not proud of my nieces and nephew. I couldn't be prouder. They're all very successful in their respective fields and are wonderful people to boot.

I thought about going back to finish my Bachelor's, but that would require retaking a bunch of classes in order to have enough local credits to graduate. I thought about changing up my degree and going after Fashion Design. I loved (and aced) the one class I took, but the time and coin required to do a full degree on a part-time basis was daunting. Also, there was no real guarantee that I'd end up as a designer. The competition is fierce and I'm twice as old as most of my classmates were.

My husband is set to retire within a few short years. Our household is going to go through a shift soon and it's going to require my picking up the financial slack. It has become increasingly clear that my dramatic and artistic pursuits aren't going to be reliable sources of income. On one hand this breaks my heart, because I enjoy entertaining and creating. I do realize that my style may not have a mainstream audience. I've made peace with that. I've also made peace with the fact that, no matter how talented I am, I may not be what the director is looking for. I'm kind of a niche girl. With a very narrow niche.

What's a girl to do? I don't want to work as a check out girl, even at Target or a craft store because I'll spend more than I make. I had that problem when I worked at Hancock's. That's part of the reason why I have such a large fabric stash. No lie. Employee discounts are a dangerous thing around me.

Well, Let me tell ya a li'l story: When I had my nervous breakdown, part of what brought it on was that I was trying to work in a creative job as costume builder. I was going to use the money I earned to start my design business, Tequila Diamonds. When that fell waaay through, blammo! I had a nervous breakdown. What I needed was a trade.

Now, the notion of massage therapy has been ruminating since high school when we gave each other backrubs in acting class. I was just more focused on the acting. The idea has come and gone over the years. Apparently I’m pretty good at giving massages as many friends have suggested that I do it for a living. It recently came to the fore when my mom gave me a salon gift certificate for the express purpose of getting a massage and the salon didn’t have a therapist on the payroll when I called for the appointment. I thought, “I could do that. I should do that.”

I found a local massage therapy school that not only trains you to work at a spa or salon, but also more clinical aspects of transformative healing. They not only teach Eastern forms, but Western as well, which is more of what I'm interested in, but I can get a broader selection of tools to use and be more prepared for the job market as a result. The best part? They only teach massage therapies. I won't have to take anything not related to being the best therapist I can be. Their application process is rigorous. They aren't just looking for the most students (and their money) like some schools I could mention but won't, they're looking for the right students. I have a couple more steps to get in the door, but so far, things are looking up.

I'm not going to do any acting during this 20 month period of studying, except maybe some short, special appearance gigs. I'm still going to work on my art projects in my free time. There are times when I simply must create. I'm going to continue blogging and field tripping.

But I have to say, as I was researching schools for this path, the site for CenterPoint stood out to me. Everything was up front and honest. When I called, I received a return call within minutes and the follow up was incredibly professional and thorough. I also discovered that there was quite a spectrum of opportunities beyond the salon. In addition, I think I'll receive a host of therapeutic benefits from doing something that really interests me and helps others.

Did I finally find that elusive career? I feel I have. I've been tap dancing in the kitchen for the last few days.

So, Flowerpots, did you find your path yet? Did you settle for your career or did you settle into it? I'll just leave that here for you to ruminate upon...
 

March's Friday Field Trip

Okay, since the weather was really crummy last month, this month's field trip will be to where we were supposed to have gone in February - JoAnn's Fabrics and Crafts in Edina. Please refer to the February Field Trip page for links and more information. Because I hate repeating myself. Plus, I'm totally lazy today.

I actually have some little worksheets for everyone to follow along with what I plan on talking about while we're there, so it'd be really awesome if someone showed up. It's not required, of course, but it'd be fun. 5 or 6 "students" is probably enough.

Unless we have one of our Minnesota March Winter Storms, I plan on keeping this on the schedule. Which is Friday, March 21st, 10:00 am. Come on, flowerpots! You know you wanna...

Thrifty Thursday - Here Comes Trouble!

Last week I dropped off 6 bags of things I no longer wear to my favorite thrift store down the street. I came home today with one. Now, ordinarily you might say that was pretty good. The rule is to always leave with fewer bags than you dropped off. However, I still managed to spend over my budget.

Doilies. Doilies are my downfall. I collect them. Like dust bunnies. I'm fascinated by their intricacy and if there happens to be  one (or a few) in different colors, I'm sunk.

I'm always asked at check-out what I plan on doing with all of them. I do put them on jackets and t-shirts which I hope to sell at some point. I'd like to put them into larger pieces, though. I've seen some marvelous dresses made of vintage doilies. I've been worried, though, as to how to put them together. I keep thinking that I should put them onto some sort of base (like the jackets, or a t-shirt) and then I get stuck. I get stuck buying a bunch of jackets I never wear because I want to sell them but am too afraid no one will like them to put them out to be seen and I have drawers full of doilies.

To be fair, my grandma made doilies, and I feel a bit of a connection with her when I buy them. She died when I was 12 and we were two peas in a pod. Maybe that's my real attachment to them - the reason I've never put my doily projects out for consumption (or even brought them to fruition) is because I have created a weird connection with them. Oh, dear. That's creepy. I don't like that.

Well, come this Spring, when it finally decides to show up, some friends and I are going to take pictures of my pieces and they are going up on Etsy. I've been hiding my proverbial light under the barrel long enough, dagnabbit! I've cleared my closet of the things I shouldn't hang on to any longer and now it's time to do that with my craft. My pieces aren't doing anybody any good languishing in the studio not being seen. I'm going to put that on my calendar for April. Hey! Maybe the photo shoot will be the April Friday Field Trip? Hmmm... possible...

What are your Spring Fever Dreams? Write them down - act on them!

Carry On, My Wayward Sewn...

There'll be peace when I am done!

At least that's the hope. I have been trying to use up my current stash of fabrics. I have a tendency to say "Oh, but I need more. I don't have any coordinating fabrics." Yeah. That happens a lot. In fact, today I got a package from eQuilter.com, one of my favorite websites for fabric shopping. I can't say enough about them. I've never had to return anything, so I don't know how that works, but I always get my order within 3 days.

Here's why I "had" to order from them: at the Mill End GOOB sale I found an incredible Asian print and bought a couple of yards. It has eagles, clouds and drums on it, the purple background is the most beautiful shade. I haven't a thing to coordinate with it. I looked. So I found a few things on eQuilter. Only one of them isn't a good match, but it's a lovely, only-slightly-Asian-looking print, so I'm sure I'll find something with which to use it. I may not use all of that which I purchased for the quilt I plan on making, so there's that, too.

I mentioned earlier about taking some fabrics with which I had planned on making a sundress and making a baby quilt instead. Here's the quilt top:

I still had quite a bit of the fabric left, though, so I made panels of different widths to make a skirt. I didn't know quite how to give it a waist, however. I just couldn't make up my mind. Did I want to gather it? Put in a zipper and a waistband, or do an elastic or drawstring?

Then, real quick-like, before I took all 6 of my bags of stuff to the thrift store, I went back and found a waffle shirt I had thought about donating. I put a few pleats in the skirt at the seams and in the middle of the 4 larger panels, then I figured out where an empire waist would be on my shirt by putting it on my dress form and cutting it off at the desired length. I made the long sleeves half-length and left the edges unfinished. Now I have a dress, too!

It looks better on a human.

As you can see, I'm really a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of designer. Something has to speak to me. It doesn't even have to be all that loud, either. I will also listen to all of the options it has to give me. This is where a sistah gets into trouble. I end up with so many ideas (and the materials for them all) that I have a hard time getting around to them.

This is why I decided to really dig in and get my stash busted in 2014. Yeah, sometimes I'll have to buy some more stuff. That's because my ideas keep coming. A lot of creative people have this problem, I know I'm not alone in this. It can all get to be a bit overwhelming, too. At least I'm able to come up with alternatives if something just isn't working for me. Even if the "problem" item languishes in a closet for a while. Years, even.

Fortunately, there are times when I can actually think on my feet and change a project mid-oops. Like the issue with the Hell on Wheels project. I had worked so hard on putting together the Dresden blades that I couldn't just give up. I took several small breaks, don't get me wrong. I even worked on a few other projects while I thought about what could be done with Hell on Wheels.

If you step back, you can see that the lighter sections create a star pattern within the plate. I'm not gonna lie, it was mentally and emotionally draining. I made a second one with a different main color. Then I needed a nap.

At first I was just going to use the denim. Then I thought about adding the raw linen. I ended up liking the lightness of the linen better than the blue of the denim. The half plate is the second one I had made with a star. Somehow it got out of order when I set them aside (even though I know I clipped them together in order), so I changed my mind on the design in that aspect, as well. The rectangular blocks use the remaining blades and are trimmed to make them square. The denim became a doggie bed for my mom's dog when they visit.

The final quilt top. I decided to go with a modern wall hanging instead of a  full-sized throw. I'm much happier with it this way than I thought I would be. Another happy accident!

That reminds me, I took the Happy Accidents quilt to Nikol of Sewtropolis for the quilting. It should be done in about two weeks. Then I can bind it and take it to Rachel! 

Sadly, Sewtropolis is now only an online entity. I had been planning a field trip there. But at least Nikol's still quilting and teaching. I hope to get to one of her classes very soon.

Whoops! Another reminder. Because of the bad weather, I cancelled February's Friday Field Trip. I'm just going to move it to March rather than try to put together another day. Hopefully the weather will start cooperating. It has made my various somatic neurological issues very cranky, and by extension, I've been more than a bit cranky. What I wouldn't give for temperatures above zero degrees Fahrenheit!

Well, my flowerpots, jump into your stashes and crank out some stuff!

This weather!

I don't know about you, but this winter weather is doing me head in. I feel like a hermit! It's too cold to enjoy the snow, the driving conditions are treacherous...

So I've been going down to the shop to work a bit. If I have to be cloistered away, I may as well get something done. Though, if I'm to be frank, the weather has also slowed my creative production as well. I'm very inspired by bright colors and sunshine (luckily we've at least had sunshine - even if it means frigid temperatures).  This led me to think of this scary topic: COLOR!

I know. A lot of people are afraid of color. Silly, you say? Not really. Especially here in my area. Whole neighborhoods are built with beige houses, white carpeting (in Minnesota? Really? Not smart), brown furniture. Even if the furniture is a non-neutral color, it's a muted, muddied, grayed color to make it neutral. Yuck. I would kill for a fainting couch in purple velvet (like Willy Wonka's top coat - Gene Wilder style).

My front door is yellow. Not pale yellow, nor is it tinged with gray or brown. It is YELLOW. I searched and searched for the right, true hue. I finally found it. Of course, I had to put a few coats of primer over the deep pink I originally had. The primer was the color my neighbor liked. She was disappointed when the yellow went up. Luckily, I live in a city where I can do that and I don't have to abide by neighborhood association rules. I know of a woman who kept having her watering can stolen and finally discovered it was the "wrong color". The association president also informed her that she couldn't grow tomatoes because they aren't aesthetically pleasing. Come on, now.

I know a lot of people who only wear neutral colors. It's easier, they say, they don't have to think when they get dressed in the morning. Everything matches.

It's this sort of conformity I've never quite been able to swallow. I doubt I would've been labeled as a non-conformist in school, though as I look back with friends they do say I always did my own thing. I may not have had the purple mohawk, but my friend, Nikki did. I may not have worn bondage pants, but I did wear plaid ones.

I'm not saying you have to go nuts, but why are people afraid of color? We're surrounded by it. Why should we be content with putting on neutral plumage while a cardinal, a gold finch and a blue jay sit on our windowsill? They don't have a choice but to be naturally bright, but we do! Why should we cover ourselves in grey flannel while a cerulean sky and turquoise waters envelop our world? Why be afraid of wearing color? Why is the corporate world so afraid of color? I could never work in a corporate job. I'd wither and die. I also don't think you have to be a dramatic designer or artsy fartsy like I am to be colorful.

For example, I have a blazer I found at a thrift store. It's an Asian brocade in teal, gold and coral. When I wear it, I'm always complimented. "I LOVE what you're wearing!" The compliment is always followed by, "It's really you. But I could never wear it."

When I finally asked a friend why she felt that way, she went on about how she wore neutral colors most of the time and just didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to herself - in case she looked stupid.

I didn't know if I should be insulted or not.

I'm pretty sure I don't look stupid when I'm brightly dressed. In fact, I have an over-abundance of confidence when I do. I'm happy and outgoing. It's when I'm in something dark and/or drab that I pull into myself and feel awkward. Even if someone did think I looked stupid, that's their issue, not mine.

I also don't do it to gain attention. I can do that all on my own. I'm loud, funny, opinionated, smart, and some have even said I'm striking to look at even without all the fun clothes. That came out wrong, but never mind.

It's sort of like when I'm in a show. I don't quite feel my character until I've had my first costume fitting. Then I know how that person is. Costuming is a bit different than real life, of course, but what are your clothes if not the costumes for your life? I'm not saying you have to get all Hallowe'en-y and steampunk-y on a daily basis. That's a heck of a lot of work. But, as I've said previously, even putting on jeans instead of staying in my pjs has made a difference in my productivity. If you want to do costumes, get into a Cosplay group. But in your everyday life, reassess your wardrobe. Do your clothes make you happy? Are you purposely blending in? If so, why?

You have a color assignment, flowerpots. Yes, yes, you do. For the month of March, bring some more color into your world. Put a hyacinth on your desk. Wear purple earrings. Wearing your beige corporate uniform? Fine. But wear cobalt shoes and a print scarf. Instead of simply wearing green or orange on St. Patrick's Day, wear a rainbow. For the love of Judy, be bold. If that's too scary, get a pair of brightly striped socks and wear them under your boots so no one knows they're there but you. For one month, don't worry about wether or not you look "stupid". If someone says that, it's their problem, not yours. You have no control over what people think, that's just a fact of life. You do, however, have absolute control over how you feel about yourself and how you react to those boring, gray people. Surround yourself with Spring and you'll find that proverbial spring in your step.

Flippin' Doodle Dots!

That's the minced curse my kids say when something isn't going right, and I have had a week in which I may rightly use that phrase.

I was working on a Dresden Plate quilt. I put together the plate blades very carefully (just about did me head in!) so that when I got back to them, they would be in the right order. I got two of them done and the third one was half way complete when I noticed that it couldn't possibly be right. So now I have 1 1/2 Dresden Plates and a large Wagon Wheel and I have no idea how they got messed up. I had clipped them together in sewing order for the express purpose of not getting a headache!

Determined to make lemonade out of lemons, I took the remaining blades from the ferkachte plate plus my extras and stitched them together in a series of strips instead of a circle. I squared them off, trimming the angled edges and now I'm going to have a totally different quilt than I originally intended.

I had also purchased a hunk of denim at the Mill End GOOB sale that I planned on using as a background. Nope. Wrong shade of blue. On the other hand, I also got a few yards of linen in a strange, orangey shade of tan that works as a background. Huh. I had planned on making a jacket out of that, but I'm liking the look of it for this piece more and more.

I tried stitching the two background pieces together for a throw, but I'm just not getting a vibe from the whole thing. I take that back. I'm getting the wrong vibe from it like that. So, plan "C" is to take them apart and use the denim to make a doggie bed for my mom's arthritic dog when they come to visit (we have hard wood floors, not very comfy) and use all the pieces on the linen for a wall hanging.

Sometimes you really have to step back and reassess.

On another note, Sewtropolis, to which I had been planning to go for a field trip, has closed its doors, becoming a strictly online entity. The woman who ran it is still teaching and (thankfully) still quilting. I'm dropping off the quilt top and backing for my friend, Rachel's quilt with her today. I'm so relieved! I had driven by where Sewtropolis used to be the other day and couldn't find it, so I got on her website and all the pictures of the storefront and the address were missing from it. PANIC ATTACK! I went to her facebook page where I noticed someone had asked if she had closed the shop and, yes, it had closed in December. What a bummer. At least she still has an online presence and I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am that she's still quilting.

Flexibility is a trait that I feel doesn't come naturally to me. I get nervous when I get interrupted or realize that my plans aren't quite working. On the other hand, if someone else's plans get twisted, I'm very good at coming to the rescue and jury-rigging something for them. Like some people are really good at giving, but lousy at taking their own advice.

Going through my stash of fabrics has helped a great deal with flexibility. I've had so much fun with making quilt tops that I've changed my mind with some of the fabrics and pieced together more quilts instead of oh, say, a sundress. There are some things which really must be made into the garment I intended for them. They'd be just too great not to. On the other hand, I'm making peace with not (necessarily) going according to plan.

Your assignment: Let go of one old idea that you feel is holding you back. I'm not even going to make suggestions for this, since it's a very personal assignment. Let your mind be aware of the new-found freedom that gives you, even if you only do it for a day. See how that works out for you. The next day, try a different obstacle. Maybe something you thought was in your way of progress really wasn't and you can use it to your advantage instead?

It's okay to let go, my flowerpots. It really is.

Announcement! Today's Field Trip cancelled!

Because the road conditions after last night's snow storm are so bad, I've decided to cancel the field trip to JoAnn's today (Feb. 21st). I'll reschedule it and let you know when it'll be.
Drive safely!